Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Show Up


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Have you ever spent hours and hours preparing for an event--invitations sent, rsvp's gathered, party supplies purchased, decorations put up, food prepared, table settings laid, equipment hired, time invested--and then nobody shows up?

 My husband tries to invite students from each of his classes over to our house for dinner once a semester. A few years ago, he decided to invite his freshman biology class. I was a little wary because everyone knows that freshmen are flaky, but I agreed to prepare a meal if he'd get a headcount of who was coming. About ten students signed up, so I prepared accordingly. By the time the day of the meal had arrived, the count had dropped to seven or so. That night, as dinner sat on the table, getting cold, I was certain my doubts were confirmed. Then the door bell rang. One lone, single, solitary, very awkward feeling student showed up for dinner that night. The upside was that at least one person showed up and I didn't have to cook for several days. The downside was that I decided no more dinners for freshmen.

While this episode is just kind of funny in retrospect, I thought about it again today when I went to a play date organized by the new preschool minister at my church. One thing after another led to us getting out the door later than I wanted. As I walked in 20 after the play date was scheduled to start, I apologized for being late only to realize--I was the only one who showed up. Though it was great to get to visit with the new preschool minister and my daughter had a good time playing on a playground close to the church, I am sure that our preschool minister felt slightly discouraged. One is better than none, but one is not enough. One is not enough to create a group, a ministry, a church, or a regular event. Good things can come from one on one, but not these things.

There is one job that we can all do in our church family, almost no matter who we are, and that job is--SHOW UP. Without all of us doing this job, the hard work that church ministers, volunteers, Sunday school teachers, even the church janitor, do are demeaned and belittled. As Christians, we have made a commitment to be a part of our church family. Being together and supporting each other should be our priority. Sure, there are sometimes things that interfere with us being able to participate in certain church events. That's life. But we should also have commitments to be there for events organized by the people and ministries that put these things together to serve US. This goes beyond filling the pew on Sunday morning. This means that if we have a child, we make it a priority to attend Sunday school, Vacation Bible School, Family Nights, whatever it is that our church does to serve our kids. If we are part of a small group we make it a priority to attend that group. If our church is having a church wide fellowship or there is a business meeting, we go. It's that simple.

Showing up is the easiest, least demanding role we can fulfill in our church family and the most important. Not only does showing up respect the commitment we've made to our brothers and sisters in Christ, but it helps us grow as Christians. If we're having a hard time showing up to be with our church family, we need to re-evaluate our priorities. What's getting in the way of our commitment to being with our spiritual family? Is it a TV program? Over-commitment in other areas of life? Tiredness? Laziness? Stress? Apathy? Whatever it is, we need to ruthlessly uproot that thing that is keeping us from showing up.

Solomon writes,"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another" (Proverbs 27:17). When nobody gets together, there's not much sharpening going on. Being present for church events is one way that we can "sharpen" each other. It is also a way that we can keep our ministers "sharp". It also is a way to keep ourselves "sharp". So, if you've been feeling a little dull lately, try showing up.




Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Ministering to Children: It's NOT a Gift


I go to a fairly small church, about 250 members. About every quarter a dreaded question arises: Who will teach Sunday school this quarter? Who will volunteer to assist the Sunday school teachers? As these questions are posed,I lower my eyes; they become shifty. Maybe that lady on my right will volunteer this time, I think. I mean, I did my time this year and I can't remember the last time she set foot in one of the kids' classes, much less taught one. A paper with a list of classes that need teachers is passed out with the bulletin as I make my way into worship service. The minister makes an announcement about the need for volunteers to serve in the children's area. I silently plan to "lose" the sign up sheet or "forget" about it and I say a little prayer that no one will bring it up next Sunday. On my way out the door to the parking lot after worship, I notice another member waving the sheet. With a boisterous laugh, she says to her friend beside her, "Working with children is just not my gift!" Amen, sister, I think as I subtly toss my volunteer sign up sheet in the conveniently placed waste basket by the door.

A few weeks later, after an inspiring sermon about using one's spiritual gifts, I peruse my Bible, noting the spiritual gifts listed by Paul in several different books. I search for "the gift of ministering to children". It's not in my concordance at the back of my Bible. I pull out the big guns: Strong's. If it's not in Strong's its not there. And guess what? IT'S NOT THERE! Serving children is NOT a spiritual gift! I lean back in my chair, stunned. My "biblical" excuse has crumbled in the blink of an eye. But I  feel so inadequate to work in the Sunday school, I think. Heck, I don't WANT to work in the Sunday school. The noise! The germs! The mess! I'm an introvert! I can't handle all the wiggling, the giggling, the activity!

As all these thoughts run through my head, a whisper in my mind says, Let the little children come to me. The kingdom of heaven belongs to them. Then it hits me. Children are not a separate part of the body of Christ. They are a special, needed, loved, wanted, important part of his body.  How different my attitude often is toward the children in my church than the attitude of Jesus. How many times have I felt like the disciples: get these noisy, disruptive beings out of the worship service and sequester them in some remote area. They are disrupting my time, my work, my worship experience. Now I feel ashamed of myself and I'm left with the question, exactly what do I do in a room full of 5, 10, 20 wiggling, energetic, lively personalities in pint sized bodies? 
 
If you have no problem jumping into the midst of 20 wild-eyed 4 year-olds, congratulations. You probably stopped reading this after the first paragraph. However, if you are still reading you are probably wondering, like I did, how do I stop believing the lie that  ministering to children takes a completely different set of skills than ministering to adults? The answer is clear but difficult to put into practice; We must change our perspective to see that ministering to children is not a spiritual gift, rather we need to use our spiritual gift(s) to minister to children. Once we have this principle in place, the rest is hard, but it's not rocket science.

Let me insert a short disclaimer here. I am in no way saying that all of us are called to full-time children's ministry. Like any other profession, the desire to be around children 24/7 depends on the unique personality and temperament God has given each one of us. However, this doesn't excuse anyone from building up and ministering to the children who are a part of our church family.

So, what does the average church member do to begin ministering to this often overlooked, partially amputated region of our church body? First, we need to take the step to "be a doers of the word" as James says, get off our lazy rears, and sign up as a volunteer. Next, we need to assess ourselves. What are our spiritual gifts? How can we use them in a kids' classroom? Are you the administrative type? Do you have a place for everything and everything in it's place? Then keep the class running on schedule. Help organize kids into work stations. Tell other volunteers what to do. (The rest of us are standing there with no idea what to do next! We love someone who will give us a job!) Be the one to match the kids' name tags with parents' name tags at pick up time. Fill out the class attendance sheet. Make sure supplies are organized and available. Do you have the gift of teaching? Are you a great story teller? Then give the lesson. Make God's Word come alive in the little minds that are eagerly searching for love and truth. Is your gift serving? Then get snack ready. Help the kids write their names on their paper. Help clean up the room at the end of class time. Take a kid to the restroom. Wipe the snotty noses. Do you have the gift of mercy? Hang out with that kid who is bawling non-stop because Mom left him in a strange place. Help the kid who is slow. Rejoice with the kid who is happy. Comfort the kid whose feelings got hurt.

At this point, you might be saying, "Okay, okay. I get your point, but, you know what? I don't have the gift of patience! Working with kids takes a lot of patience and I don't have it." Well, here's another shocker. Patience isn't a spiritual gift either. Patience is a fruit of the spirit. It is a direct result, visible in our lives, of following the way God has called us to live. No one on this earth has "the gift of patience". It is something that every single person has had to grow into. If you don't have patience, working in the children's area is a great place to practice discipline in this area of your life.

Working with children is not easy. It is tiring, it is crazy, it is unpredictable. But we all have a spiritual gift. We can all use our gift to serve children. The world is telling us, more and more emphatically, every day that children are not important. They are inconvenient and messy. In a world concerned with appearance and pleasure, children are an unwelcome interruption. This should not be our attitude, my attitude. This is not Jesus's attitude. Children are the future of our church. They are future leaders, teachers, servants, ministers, and workers. If we are not using our spiritual gifts to serve them and lift them up, what kind of message is that sending to this very important and vulnerable part of our body? Your spiritual gift is for the edifying of EVERYONE in the body of Christ. Take that Sunday school volunteer sheet, sign your name, just do it.